Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.'
I love to vacuum. No, truly I do. Its one of the few times in my day when I can completely shut off all the noise in our crazy house. Its amazing. I just press that green button and instantly, theres no fussing, no screaming, no "MOMMY!", just blissful white noise.
I do some of my best thinking and praying while I'm vacuuming. This afternoon after lunch was a good time to vacuum. This afternoon life just seemed so very big. Much too big for me. There's just too much. Too much of everything. Too much school, too much homework (seriously, what do they do all day?), too much cleaning, too many diapers, too many spankings and timeouts, too many valentines (I loathe valentine's day btw, truly despise it, but that's another blog for another day.), too much laundry, too many dirty dishes, too many visits, too many meetings, too much drama, too many decisions, etc. I was running the list in my head of all that we have going on in our family and it was beyond overwhelming.
I am all too easily taken in by all the 'stuff' we have going on in our lives right now. I all too easily let myself stress over how I'm going to get this or that done or how I'm going to handle this little problem over here or how I'm going to order my day so that we all stay sane. Thats so not what this is about. My life's purpose is to make Him known.
What if He keeps us in this place to show us that He is bigger, that He is our wisdom and our strength and our patience. What if He brings us to the point of brokenness to show us that He is our healer and our comfort and our joy. What if all this utter madness is 'to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us?'
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