Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Asking why...

Remember that struggle with trust I was having? Yeah, that trust just got rocked this afternoon. Praise the Lord that He is not only my rock but my strength. Only He could be holding my heart heart so firmly as to keep it from being completely torn in two by the news handed down in family court today. 

Dora & Diego's next hearing is July 8, and they are to remain in care with only weekly visits until then. Ashley, SW, said that we were still welcome to schedule our own extra visits as often as we wanted.  There is a plan being set in place for mom to be able to force an earlier hearing, perhaps by April. Jared and I were speechless.  

My initial reaction was not pretty...to quote a foster momma friend, I was foul. Probably a very, very good thing that Jared was the one actually at court and not me. All I could do was scream on the phone. The injustice in this case is unbelievable, unbelievable. I was ready to get in my car and go straight to the judge and explain to her that she had made a huge mistake and that she needed to make a different decision and she needed to do it NOW. That probably would have not gone over very well. Judges tend to frown on such behavior, I'm told. ;) At the very least, I wanted to burn up some attorney's email and voicemail, which I may still do after lots of prayer. I just still don't need to express every thought passing through my brain, at least not to D & D's attorney. 

Beneath all this storm of anger, however is a firm anchor for my soul which keeps me from going completely insane. I know that while we do have a human judge making decisions in our case, we also have a heavenly, sovereign, and GOOD Father determining those decisions. For whatever reason, He has chosen this path for us and for Dora & Diego and those 'lines have fallen for [us] in pleasant places' even though right now it certainly does not seem like it. 

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