Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Just being real...

"We aren't earning favor with God by fostering or else I'd quit right now and find something else to do tomorrow because this fostering thing only heaps up my guilt." --- Jared

My husband is so right. I don't think I have ever been more aware of my selfishness and anger and impatience and pride. People have gotten on to me about my lack of blogging over the past few months, and this right here is the reason why. The main thing that keeps coming to the forefront during our time with Dora and Diego is that I am a vile, wretched sinner. Who wants to blog about that, right? Who wants to admit that this sweet little person made me so angry that I hurt my hand taking my frustration out on the boxing bag downstairs? Who wants to admit that I'm so angry at not being able to discipline said little person the way *I* think he needs to be disciplined that I snap at the other children and my husband? I knew I am a sinner beforehand and now I see it over and over again. Every. Day. And it's ugly. And I don't like it.

"But God, being rich in mercy"

But God's grace abounds all the more covering all my sin. And it's beautiful. That's love. That's hope. And therein lies the strength to keep going.

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